They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
