I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
