so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
