it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
