they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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