I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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