some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
