When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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