Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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