i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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