Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
