put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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