I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
