fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Everyone says I win the strip club
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
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