Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
he shaved USA in his pubs
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
