This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
