So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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