oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
