when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
