alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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