Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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