Buhtt sex?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
