My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
