I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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