nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
