Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Hello my rib-scented angel!
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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