I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you win again, gameday.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
