I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
