I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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