I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
