At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
