i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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