i think my mom watched the whole time
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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