dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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