i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
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