So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
The ass gains better be worth it
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
