Your dad touched me again.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I believe in your delicious
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
