I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
