Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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