The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I need a burrito and a hug.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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