Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
