If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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