she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Randomize
