i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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