I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
