i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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