I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
