i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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