Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Randomize
