how can u be prego again
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
