I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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